Oh, y'all, this show and this fandom. I didn't get into online fandom until season three, but I had a friend at school who also watched Buffy (yes, just the one, weirdly), and we would analyze every episode after it aired. I still have this gorgeous birthday card she made me with all sorts of images from the show. I'm the same age as the Scooby Gang; I want through high school with them, graduated with them, went off to college with them. While I have deep, deep criticisms of the show (and Joss's work overall), I still love it so much, and all it brought me. The Willow/Angel mailing list (and That Happy Place, which spun off it) welcomed me with open arms, though I was one of the youngest, and I became the person I am today due in large part to their influence. They are why J and I reconnected, I had so many adventures with them, and being so active in the fandom is what led me to The Lost Boys fandom, which is where I got my BFF (and she got her husband thanks to the fandom) and so many friends who mean so much to me. I've fallen in love thanks to Buffy fandom, and had my heart broken, become a better person, made good decisions and bad, went to college and grad school, traveled the country, and will have so many adventures still to come.

Pretty soon, I'll hit 20 years of posting fic, and that is all due to Buffy. My life is infinitely richer because of Buffy and fandom and you.

( All 30 days )

I've seen this going around, and it looks like a good set of themed prompts, since I just finished that personal meme. (Of course, considering how long that took me, I'll still be answering this in 2020, but whatever.)

1 – How did you first get into writing fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote for? What do you think it was about that fandom that pulled you in?

Technically, I've been telling fannish stories since I first started telling stories as a small child, and I wrote my first fanfic in high school, when a project for 1984 turned into a short story my teacher loved. I started writing and posting fanfic online in 1999, though, after reading a ton of it and spending a lot of time on mailing lists. There was no real decision to start writing fic. I always told stories, I always wrote, and it just made perfect sense to start sharing stories with the people who I was talking to so often.

My first online fandom was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, specifically the Willow/Angel mailing list, and its spinoff. The women there, many of whom I'm still friends with, had a huge influence on the woman I've become over the past two decades. The fanfic is only a small part of that.

Even back then, I loved monsters and teenage girls being heroes and chosen families, so BtVS hit a lot of my buttons. Add that to how awesome the other fans were, how friendly and funny and smart, how willing they were to take a teenager under their wings, well, I had an excellent time in fandom, long after I was no longer watching and analyzing the show every week.

Some of the same things still appeal to me, which is probably why I sometimes write Buffy fic to this day. In particular, I love the way that the series finale opens the world up to Slayers everywhere, and what that does to the girls and women who were forcibly called. (And the ethics of how Buffy becomes what she's railed against by the end.)

(Though I like some of the things in the comics, they don't tend to exist in my canon when I write fic. Mostly because I haven't read very many.)

I don't have an appropriate icon. Sad.

December Talking Meme Master List

(There are still some days left open in the meme, if you want to suggest a(nother) topic.)

No requests for December 12 or 13, so we skip ahead to December 14, which was suggested by endeni: What was your first fandom?

Before I found online fandom, I was fannish about a lot of things, from Star Trek: The Next Generation to Tamora Pierce books to hockey to horror movies (werewolves!) to Legos to ... well, you get the picture. I'd tell myself stories about my favorite characters all the time, and I'd even written a bit of 1984 fanfic as an assignment in a lit class. During high school, I had one friend who also watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer (seasons one, two, and three, at least), and we would talk about it in class the next day, share theories, and she made some beautiful art cards for various holidays for me.

I discovered online fandom in 1998, through mailing lists for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as lurking at the Bronze, and it was amazing. I still consider Buffy my first real fandom. I didn't start writing fic right away, but I did start reading it pretty much immediately. I didn't start writing until well into season three, and didn't start posting until 1999 (yes, I am finishing my 15th year of posting fanfic online, thank you, thank you), but the friends I made. Oh, the friends I made. I'm still friends with some of the women from the mailing lists, particularly the Willow/Angel mailing list and a private spinoff. I was still in high school when I joined the list, and most of the people I became friends with were a good decade or so older, and I would not be the person I am today without them. In many, many ways, including the fact that J and I got back together because of a trip I made with VT and her family, and the girl and I met because my time writing Buffy fic led me to writing Lost Boys fic, and actually, the girl met her husband due to a mutual friend from Lost Boys fic who she actually met because I hosted that mutual friend's fic on my website, which was a direct result of my time in Buffy fandom.

I still love the show SO MUCH and the characters. (Faith and Oz have always been my favorites, but the more I watch, the more I love Buffy herself, too, and all the others.) I went through high school with Buffy and the Scooby Gang. They graduated when I graduated. They went off to college when I went off to college. The source material for this fandom is wonderful (and problematic, yes), and that would be amazing enough, but the fandom was just unbelievable. I went through so many huge life events supported by people I met through Buffy, both back then and in more recent years.

Fandom, man. It can be so amazing.

Dear Femslash12 Author,

First, I want to stress that I am excited to read whatever story you write. I love girl slash and women being awesome and these fandoms, and I can't wait to read your story.

In general, I really love stories about women being awesome. I also like werewolves, stories about families being loving and protective and a little snarly with each other because they trust each other to always be there, and smart flirtations. I like stories of all ratings, I'm a fan of consensual kink, and I love stories about oral sex and pegging and women who really love sex. I love poly stories, threesomes and foursomes and moresomes, as long as it is consensual and not cheating. I adore intricate plots and mysteries to solve and friends teaming up to save the world. I like straightforward prose, lyrical pieces, and experimental work. I love adoption stories when adoption is treated as something totally normal and not a BIG DRAMATIC SECRET to up the tension. I love siblings as friends and families who are super tight and friends as family and created families. I love the ocean, full moons, surfing, autumn, Halloween, horror movies, and long roadtrips.

I love motorcycles and mechanics and beaches and surfing and Hawaii and Washington state and woods and camping and full moons. My favorite time of year is October 1 through February 1 because it encompasses all sorts of things I love, from the month long festival that is Halloween movie marathons and Halloween episodes of tv shows to spending time with loved ones and openly talking about what makes us thankful at Thanksgiving (though Thanksgiving itself, highly problematic) to the December holidays with all their lights to birthdays to New Year's Eve. Good times, even though I hate winter and the cold and snow.

I love bisexual characters (particularly women) treated with respect, happy and healthy polyamory, characters of color treated with respect, people having adventures, and apocalypses.

I adore crossovers, the more twisty and complicated the better.

I dislike embarrassment/humiliation, rape, non-con, misogyny, racism, ableism, sizeism, character-bashing, and women feeling guilty about enjoying sex. I am particularly frustrated right now by depictions of mental illness and crazy = bad and dangerous. I dislike misogyny and Man Angst, especially White Man Angst.

As for my specific requests:

Marvel Avengers Movieverse: Darcy/Jane, Darcy/Sif, Darcy/Pepper, Darcy/Jane/Sif, Darcy/everyone, all the ladies/all the ladies

Avengers poly family is one of my favorite things right now, and Darcy's snark and good humor, Jane's science brain, Pepper's competence, and Sif's perserverence in the face of a society that doesn't view women as warriors make me so, so happy.

Disney: Nani/anyone

Nani Pelekai is amazing. Lilo & Stitch is my favorite Disney movie, and Nani my favorite character, as she struggles to take care of her sister and hold her family together and then, oh yeah, aliens.

Buffy: Veruca/Faith, Veruca/Nina, Veruca/Willow

Werewolf. Women who are werewolves are often presented as a sexual threat, and Veruca is no different. I love stories that take her and show us more.

Never Cry Werewolf: Loren/anyone

Never Cry Werewolf is the fandom I keep requesting because someday someone else will love it like I do and want to write it. Basically, a new neighbor moves in, deaths start in the neighborhood, and Loren proves what a badass she is by trying to save the world. I want to see more of her being awesome.

Ugly Betty: Betty/Amanda, Betty/Alexis

I haven't finished the last season of Ugly Betty, but am particularly fond of the time when Betty and Amanda lived together, and particularly right after Amanda got the second job and comes home to find Betty has cooked her dinner. Their dynamics, their friendship, the way Betty was both taking care of her and teaching her to take care of herself -- I love them and want to see more of them.

I also think there was quite a bit of potential to Betty and Alexis, though they didn't spend nearly enough time interacting. I would love to see more of them together, too.

Roswell: Maria/Isabel, Maria/Isabel/Liz

I only started watching Roswell a couple years ago, about a decade too late, but good grief, Roswell poly fandom was basically canon by the end. Maria and Isabel are my favorites, but I love all of them bunches and bunches. In all the fandoms, but in this one in particular, I would hate to see the guys bashed or written off, because they are so integral to this family that was created, alien and human, and I love it.

(I've just realized that a Lilo & Stitch/Roswell crossover could be amazing.)

Thank you, author, for writing me a story. You are awesome!

Stop! Self-awareness time!

I was reading this fantastic post in which toft talks about Mercedes Lackey's books and I realized why I have so little patience for -- well, I'll put it in toft's words:

7) I love that all of the books that I've read so far punch my talented-outcast-child-is-rescued-from-family-and-excels-at-school narrative kink right in the kidneys and throw it down the stairs. In a good way.

Now I read this post after watching the first three Harry Potter movies with Mom (one last night, two today) and even though I've seen them before and read the books and wrote fanfic, damn it, it struck me really hard how much of an idiot Harry is a lot of the time and how things just fall in his lap. Sometimes literally.

And don't get me wrong, I love the first four Harry Potter books a lot. (The movies not as much and the last three not nearly as much, but the first four, particularly three and four, SO MUCH LOVE.) And I also love the Mercedes Lackey books I've read, which isn't very many, I'll admit, but I read the Arrows trilogy and then BY THE SWORD which has KEROWYN I'LL KICK YOUR GODDAMN ASS AND YOU'LL LIKE IT who is my hero, so obviously I'm a fan of that one, too.

But frequently these talented-outcast-child-rescued-from-family-and-excels-at-[fill in the blank] narratives really bug me. While reading toft's post I finally figured out why, even though it is really obvious if you know me at all: Basically every awesome thing I have ever done is because I am trying to live up to the awesomeness of my family. No, really, they've set the bar high and it just keeps getting pushed higher. Even though I don't directly follow in anyone's footsteps, what I do is done so I can be as awesome as my family. So of course I don't grok that narrative the way some others might.

Not very awesome that it took me that long to figure it out, but whatever.

(By the way, as we're watching Harry Potter, Mom turns to me and says she doesn't understand why people threw such a fit over Harry Potter being satanic or whatever, nothing they did magically seemed all that bad and I said I thought it was just the idea of ~magic in the first place that was so horrible. She scoffed and said that was ridiculous, kids should grow up with magical stories and reading stories about magic doesn't make them bad Christians. Oh, Mom, you are the best conservative, Christian mother ever! [Though obviously conservative doesn't apply to Christian in that sentence.] Oh, speaking of conservatives, I am not adjusting well to being back in a small town in a red state. Today some guy came around talking about politicians because we're running up on the November election and ads and calls and door to door is going wild. Anyway, dude told me politician is a Democrat and liberal in [these ways], but still conservative, too, in [these ways] and is pro life. I don't think he expected me to say, well, those liberal things are really good, but the pro life thing is generally a deal breaker for me. Too liberal for the liberals here, what?)

~*~

Sons of Anarchy comes back this week! I think I will liveblog it, because OMG FINALLY. J and I were talking the other night and he said the adverts make it look like it's going to be very soap opera-y and the season finale was very much a soap opera. I laughed and said even if it is, if I kept watching after [that thing with Gemma last season], I'll give them a season of being a soap opera before I quit them.

The Vampire Diaries comes back, too, but I rarely talk about that here. Maybe that will change this season. Because [THINGS! THINGS WHICH ARE SPOILERS!]

~*~

I am tired, but I am waiting on a thing and I pulled up my werewolfbigbang, which I keep thinking I won't finish, but the first draft isn't due until later this month, so maybe I will finish. I'm writing a sequel to "wolf woman wild," but I keep wanting to write some ridiculous crossover (er, even more ridiculous than "wolf woman wild" which has BtVS, Angel, Fast and the Furious series, and Ginger Snaps) about a wolf pack that contains characters from BtVS, Fast and the Furious series, Sons of Anarchy, Harry Potter, etc. I do not need to set aside the sequel and write 10k of a ridiculous crossover. I don't.

(Dude, Sons of Anarchy basically is a werewolf pack without being werewolves. And how awesome would it be to have Oz and Faith, Letty and Dom and Mia, Jax and Opie and Donna and Tara, Remus and Sirius, Clay and Gemma all in a wolf pack together? Hell, let's really make it ridiculous and throw in Sam and Dean and John and Mary Winchester and, GOD, Ellen and Jo Harvelle, because obviously after Race Wars, Jesse runs off and becomes Ash. Hell, Chad Lindberg himself brings together Fast and the Furious, Supernatural, and Sons of Anarchy. If I really wanted to go wild, I know I could work in Velma and Daphne.

Good grief, I'm actually considering this.)

~*~

THING is done, so I can go to bed! Except now I'm thinking about the damn ridiculous crossover.

ETA: It has taken me five billion edits to get the coding right, even though I swear I was using the same coding I'd been using since I started crossposting from DW. WHAT THE HELL?

To cheer myself up, I am currently watching two episodes of Hannah Montana. Originally it was to kill time before Princess Protection Program came on (yes, I'm giving in and watching it because I've been told so many times I should) but I'm actually enjoying HM. I think mostly it's Miley Cyrus's voice, which used to annoy me but I now find scratchy and awesome (a la Rachael Ray) and also it's just fun.

---

I got my I Will Remember You posting date and now I have to come up with a good Buffy/Angel story. I have some ideas, but I'm not sure I can pull them off. We'll see.

Now that I've written my subject line, I kind of want to write a Buffy/Angel story in the middle of another crossover with Lilo & Stitch. Hee.

I'm reading about a stuffed pig (let's not discuss why, okay?), and the only thing I can think about, as this description of it goes on and on, is Stacey, from The Baby-Sitters Club and her stuffed pig collection. Then I start thinking about Buffy and Mr. Gordo.

Then I want to write a crossover story. Maybe where Stacey is a newly powered baby Slayer and she and Buffy have this bonding moment over stuffed pigs. Lately I've been wanting to write a huge crossover world where there are lots of baby Slayers coming together from all different fandoms, and I realize I pretty much did the outline of this in "Ten Slayers Who Never Were (The Of All the Women in all the World Mix)", but still.

I don't have time to write an epic crossover with baby Slayers, and fighting monsters, and lots of sex, but oh, I really want to write it.

Now back to reading about stuffed pigs. Because that is so much more fun than writing epic stories.

I dislike the last few seasons quite a bit, and have issues with various parts of the show and the fandom. However, BtVS was the show which brought me into online fandom, and it still has a special place in my heart, especially the first three seasons and part of season four. I love it so much, I can't choose just one quote.

So some of my favorites include:

( Quotes )

My absolute favorite moments don't have words. In "Lovers Walk" when Oz sits on the pool table with his guitar, all heart broken, and in "Wild at Heart" when he stands in front of the cage wearing only jeans. He looks so tiny and fragile even after all this talk of the monster inside.

You guys, I really miss my show.

I am currently watching Lilo & Stitch and working on that Lilo and Stitch/Buffy the Vampire Slayer Nani/Buffy WIP. I want to stay up writing it, but I really need to get to bed soon. I have a ton of things to do before the Superbowl party tomorrow night, and a two hour meeting in the middle of the afternoon.

In addition to the Nani/Buffy story, I've worked on the following stories this weekend:

1) A story about the Slayer featured in season eight's "The Chain", set early in her story.
2) Another story about that Slayer set after "The Chain".
3) A Baby-Sitters Club story about Dawn saying good-bye to her friends when she returns to California permanently.
4) A Lost Boys story about Maria and all the things lurking in the darkness.

I suddenly want to write a story about thirteen-year-old Nani meeting thirteen-year-old Abby when the BSC goes to Hawaii. Lilo could be a baby and their parents could still be alive and wouldn't Nani and Abby be adorable? And baby Lilo? (No Stitch is sad, but, still.)

I think I need to add more Elvis to the Nani/Buffy story. There's never enough Elvis.

One of my favorite lines from this movie:

Lilo: I'm sorry I bit you, and pulled your hair, and punched you in the face.

Oh, Lilo.

And now I want to write about Lilo and Myrtle when they're teenagers and obviously bickering because they are in love.

(Also, why are they letting the little white girl boss them around? Seriously?)

Oh, yay, more Elvis music. This makes me happy.

Okay, one and a half episodes into Angel season two and I'm loving it. I've seen bits and pieces of the seasons from here on out (I watched all of season one and then my schedule was too crazy for TV - similar to now, actually, when I'm glad I don't have cable because I'm never home to watch it), and I'm sad I haven't seen these. Jousting! Sword fights! A biracial character talking about being biracial!

Good times.

Edited to Add

Oh. God.

( specific spoilers for the end of episode two )