[movies] The Breed

[escritoireazul]

I have this secret (or, now not so secret) weakness for movies which include wine and songs about margaritas. Also genetically enhanced animals, people nostalgic for cars, cheesy horror, and Michelle Rodriguez, so, really, this movie is pretty much custom made for me.

Hmmm. Also there is an attempt to comment on the stupidity of people, in horror movies, going downstairs into the dark and also on the role of virgins in horror movies. So far the commentary isn't actually succeeding, but I give it points for trying.

(Of course, it opened with the stereotypical half-dressed dumb blonde who, when surrounded by growling creatures, asks if it's her boyfriend. They lose lots of points for that.)

At least they're trying to fix the fuse box, though, instead of just whining about it being blown. And Michelle Rodriguez looks absolutely beautiful.

Also there is the girl dates boy, girl breaks up with boy, girl dates boy's brother and falls in love with him. I like --

Michelle in a bikini. This is almost as good as her surfing.

-- when siblings are involved in a triangle like that.

Also, I think I just heard Michelle's character talk about bring -- she totally did! She's a rock climber! Or, right now, a house climber. I also have this weakness for rock climbing women in horror movies and have this crazy desire to see a crossover between The Cave and The Breed.

And now there is archery and merry go rounds of drinking.

And the cutest puppy in the world!

Dude, this movie really was made for me, wasn't it? Michelle squeeing over a puppy. I am in love.

What's that? Tequila shots? Jaeger stories? Until the killing starts, and if they add a bonfire, this is all the --

oh, the puppy has one ear cocked up and made the cutest little noises, I love that look

-- marching camp outs from university.

Again they are trying to comment on horror movies. Slightly better this time. And wow, dude, that's one scary ass dog. And a gorgeous shot of the moon behind him.

Oh, she did NOT just pass out from one little nip by a (genetically enhanced but she doesn't know it) dog. Oh, good, she didn't. That was going to suspend my disbelief too much.

While I'm cool with them at least wanting to take her to the hospital, but even if you can wait to get your rabies shot within a week of the bite, I would want to go get myself stitched up and taken care of right away.

Oooh, a storm. This could get exciting.

I love that pillow talk includes rabies fatalities in dogs. This movie makes me smile.

OH! OH OH OH OH OH! This is -- this is -- oh, if they do it, I am ordering this movie tonight! Human transforms after a bite from an animal -- this is practically a werewolf movie right now, right down to her biting the first guy she kisses and her sexuality suddenly becoming enhanced.

(That reminds me, I really should write that paper on female werewolves and the monster inside expressed as dangerous sexuality.)

Good grief, is there nothing Michelle wears that doesn't make her beautiful.

Oooh, and protecting her food with her fork. I love that!

(Actually, the paper could also be increased appetites, sexual and food, a woman who eats is different, a monster.)

Erm, as all the guys go off to hunt, this could be the perfect time for some really hot, monstrous girl slash. Especially after that look Michelle just gave the other woman.

Aww, teenage crushes finally coming to fruition. I love that. And Michelle in boy shorts! I love that look, especially on her. Especially after why nikitangel told me she wore them in Blue Crush.

Oh, dude, are they going to do the pictures of the monster on the camera without knowing it? I love that trope -- oh, no, probably not. They're going to do the pack of enhanced dogs hunts down the black guy -- if he's the first to die out of this set, I will be pissed.

Oh, you idiot, don't run.

Hey, I want one of those trees. It almost looked like a banyan tree, but there's no way.

Oh, hey, bloody dude appears out of the woods and gets killed by dogs. I'd forgotten about him, almost.

The shot of the bitten woman (I really should figure out here name) rising out of the water in a very predatory way was gorgeous.

OH MY GOD. The dude just shot an arrow through Michelle's leg -- I think we're supposed to believe that he was going to hit the dog until it moved back at the last second, but it was all slo-mo and archer fetishy.

Michelle cursing is gorgeous.

"For all I know, you could have saved my life." And the expression on her face. Hee.

Wow, they jumped to enhanced dogs really freaking fast. I'm torn between it being unbelievable and it being fantastic that they are smart.

Also, Michelle knows that something's wrong with bitten woman. I love it.

Oh, man, I totally saw that dog through the window thing.

It's talking to bitten woman. This is awesome.

And also, asshole brother is freaking macho, wrestling with dogs and shooting arrows through a woman's leg.

Okay, even knowing the dogs are killing machines, it really, really sucked to hear that death yelp.

Dude, didn't you learn what happens when you stand too close to the windows? A dog comes flying through it.

Okay, I'm growing kind of fond of the bow and arrow thing. Also that the dogs were smart enough to bite the rope tying the plane. I love smart killer animals.

Though the school smart brother is in serious denial.

Hello! Dogs on the plane you idiots. Who didn't see this coming?

I have a real hard time believing a group which includes an injured woman can outrun genetically enhanced psycho killer dogs.

At least they have mobile phones with them, even if there is no service. I like that in modern horror stories.

Oooh, if they do go get the car from the garage, do we get to have another Dog Soldiers scene? I love that part.

Michelle on a rope -- oh, man, she's going to free climb, with an injured leg. She is so rock hard --

Uncut because it's not a spoiler.

REBECCA! SHE HAS FINGERLESS GLOVES OF PAIN!

-- I love her. And breaking the window. And -- yeah. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

Oh, please don't die! I love you, please don't die.

ROLL UP YOUR FREAKING WINDOW -- good girl. Smart girl.

Have I also mentioned my love of women climbing things, barn bars, poles, things like that. And you're not fine until you're away from that window.

I love the way their friendships have been developed. I like horror stories which do that. Though I am, once again, worried that the black guy is going to be the first of their group to die.

Aww, everyone run to the attic. I love it. Still pissed about the way the death worked.

Dogs howling. Such a creepy, beautiful sound. It sends chills down my spine.

Oh, that was a nasty death. Impaled on the merry go round. And here come the dogs.

Erm, why is the girl with the injured leg the one driving the stick shift? While I love watching Michelle drive, that's not exactly logical considering she's limping pretty hard when she walks.

Oh, goody, the point where someone says "they were playing god". And also, someone's turning into a genetically enhanced puppy dog. (That's in a sing-song voice, by the way.)

Oooh, electrocution has to hurt. And now there's fire. Awesome. Like killer dogs aren't bad enough.

I love it when siblings come to save each other, especially when that means hitting things with big sticks.

From the look on Michelle's face, she's got a plan -- dude, does she ever. If those goes well, this is the most rock hard character yet. That angry scowl -- oh and a fucking CUJO reference and oh. my. god.

Yeah, I'm ordering this movie. I don't care if it's not on deep sale yet.

I love it when the rock hard woman saves the day. Especially when it's Michelle Rodriguez.

Now if only they actually survive -- yes! NOW IT HAS A CAR CRASH!

Could this movie get any better? So much cheesy horror fun!

Oooh, also, I love the humans carrying the virus, for lack of a better word, into society. That's one of my favorite tropes.

Aww, the brothers have bonded.

Goddamn it. I had so much hope for this movie -- in my head, they kill the dog hiding below deck and all survive. I love horror, but I want some people to freaking survive, too. Especially Michelle's characters. Wasn't Rain enough of a loss?

I like it. I'm going to buy it on my next Amazon order, which actually probably won't be tonight, as I forgot to go deposit my paycheck from Friday.

Comments

[attaining.livejournal.com]

Duuude, I so want to see The Breed. I have to watch every really God awful movie Eric Lively is in (he's one of the brothers).

If I could suffer through The Butterfly Effect 2, I could so watch killers dogs on a beach. XD

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

LOL My thought was, if I could suffer through Bloodrayne for Michelle Rodriguez, killer dogs on a beach were a piece of cake.

I still haven't seen The Butterfly Effect 2. I loved the first one so much I haven't been able convince myself to deal with the second.

[attaining.livejournal.com]

LMAO She is totally worth suffering through bad bad bad movies for. &hearts

Haha, it is honestly one of the worst movies I've seen. When it ends, you sit there going, "Uh ...wha?" It's not the acting, it's the horrrrrrrrible writing. It's so bad, it's funny. XD

[impatienke.livejournal.com]

Kat wanted me to ask you if you still wanted Dark Fury, she found it in the dump bin at her Walmart and picked it up. Just call her or text to let her know.

Erm...I don't even know what this movie is, but it sounds like it could be fun. I may have to add it to the netflix queue.

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

It's an awesome, cheesy horror movie of joy. I wish I would have seen this before I sent it back, we could have watched it together.

I've just sent Kat a text. Thanks for the heads up!

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

Also, did you leave me a phone message about blue boxes? One showed up today, but I hit the wrong button trying to listen to it again.

[impatienke.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Kat was wondering if you remembered seeing her blue boxes that have 'springtime' written all over them in the move? She can't find them anywhere and was hoping one of us had either seen them or that they'd been left in the car.

[nikitangel.livejournal.com]

FINGERLESS GLOVES OF PAIN!! That is the awesome.

I was much more impressed with this movie than I thought I would be! Beyond the Michelle-ness of it. Oliver Hudson rocked it, and yes, loved the brother triangle story. Love the Michelle costumes (and my, aren't we exploring our low-rider jeans side?!) Rock climber, convinces the guy she should do it - awesome. Archery, definitely grew on me. Of course the dogs were on the plane.

You know where they finally lost me? When the three of them, after being attacked by wild dogs for the last hour, walked into a room and said, "Oh, looks like an attack protection suit..." AND THEN WALKED AWAY. Um, hello? Anyone? WTF? PUT IT ON!!

And the dog at the end, yes. Big disappointment, just where I had hope of ending on a good note. In my brain, they kill the dog below deck, but the boys eventually go crazy from the bites and Michelle is out at sea with them ... that would be way more interesting.

So yes, *thank you* for the gift of Michelle Rodriguez and an actually decent movie.

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

I feel I should take lessons from Michelle on how to wear low-rider jeans, because I still don't get it!

I love the rock climbing part of her characterization, especially the way she convinces him to let her do the risky climb using LOGIC. It was fantastic.

I didn't catch this the first time I watched it, but I think one of them does put it on before he goes back outside. I'll need to rewatch it again (oh, the things I do for fic), but it looks like one of the brothers pulls the jacket off as he gets into the car after she saves them.

I still hate the end, and would love to see a story about the boys going crazy and Nikki is stuck on the boat with them and has to be all rock hard and save herself.

You're welcome! I'm glad it was a decent movie this time.