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escritoireazultitle: What She Doesn't Have
author: Carla
disclaimer: Joss owns them all, of course.
dedication: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aaronlisa in the Have A Little Faith (Or A Lot!) Ficathon
distrubtion: Escritoire Azul
rating: 16+
warning: femslash, post-Chosen setting
summary: Faith has never had a lot, but now she has even less.
"Oh, fuck, Spike."
Faith froze, one fist inside Buffy, her tongue pressed tight against her clit. Buffy arched her back so hard her bones cracked, shoved her hips up into Faith's face, and grabbed Faith's shoulders.
"Don't stop, please, Faith, don't stop."
Faith shuddered, and then shoved her fist deeper, flexed her fingers as Buffy's inner walls clamped down on her, and flicked her tongue, the rhythm steady again. Buffy moaned, dug her fingernails into Faith's skin, and thrust up, setting the pace, moving faster and harder.
It was hard to breathe, the way Buffy slammed her body against Faith's mouth, and the cartilage in her nose cracked under the assault, but right away her Slayer healing kicked in and she could feel it start to knit back together even as Buffy dropped her hands to her side, pressed against the mattress, and shoved her entire body up against Faith.
She screamed when she came, she always screamed, and it was Faith's name on her lips, between the guttural noises spilling out of her mouth.
Faith thrust and stroked until Buffy's movements slowed, until she collapsed back onto the bed, her sweaty skin stuck to the sheet. She had pulled it off the upper corners of the bed and it tangled around their bodies.
Buffy closed her eyes, shoved her fingers into her hair, and pushed it out of her face. Faith eased her hand out of Buffy's cunt, wiped the moisture off with the edge of the comforter they kicked down to the end of the bed, and rolled over Buffy's leg so she could stretch out next to her. Buffy moaned; cuddled a little closer, her eyes still shut; and stretched, hands over her head, toes pointed.
"Pretty good, B."
The contented noise Buffy made sounded like a kitten, a little mewl of pleasure.
After a second, Faith leaned over the edge of the bed; their clothes were scattered, as usual, but she made sure her pants were always in reach right after. She dug her pack of cigarettes out of the pocket--only two left, one mangled at the edge of the filter.
Her lighter--silver Zippo, no engravings--wasn't with the cigarettes. She tossed her pants across the room, leaned over farther so she could reach under the bed, and slid her hand across the floor until her fingers brushed cool metal.
She was up with it, quick flick, flame, and lit cigarette and sprawled back on the bed. Her head smacked against the headboard; where the hell was her pillow?
Buffy curled sideways, her back to Faith, one pillow under her head, the other clutched against her chest. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, but Faith didn't think she was asleep. Each breath came too fast, and there were none of the little muttering sounds she made when she dreamed.
Faith stretched out again, crossed her legs, and took a long, deep drag on her cigarette. The alarm clock on the bedside table had red numbers, and half the lights were burned out on the second digit of the minutes.
Two hours until sunset.
That meant two and a half hours until all the little baby Slayers came knocking at the door, wanting to hit the cemeteries, do their patrol, get their grades. Buffy had three girls, Faith two, so five hours of what everyone but Faith called finals, and then she could hit the road.
Faith finished her cigarette, closed her eyes, and slept.
~~**~**~~
"So take away two points for dropping her stake," Buffy muttered and made notes on the paper stuck to her clipboard. "That leaves her eighty-seven and a half total, so," she raised her voice, "b plus for Kat."
"Faith, do you have your scores ready?" Dawn bounced a little on the balls of her feet, even though she had spent the whole time trying to look professional and adult; she even wore a tweed jacket, though the neon pink crop top under it didn't match her Watcher status.
"Sure thing, D."
Buffy signed her papers and handed them over to Dawn. Dawn tucked them into her bag, and raised her eyebrows at Faith. "Well?"
"Already told you."
Dawn's whole face twisted into a frown when she figured it out. "Oh, you're smart enough for word games now?"
Little bitch. Faith just smiled and opened a fresh pack of cigarettes. "Smart enough to trick you," she taunted, and cut her gaze sideways to watch Buffy cross her arms and glare. The glare was cute, and the pose made her breasts look even more interesting.
"Come on, Faith, we're all tired and hungry and some of us need showers." Buffy wrinkled her nose and sniffed. "I'm one of them."
Faith's smile went predatory; she leered, raked her eyes up and down Buffy's body, and winked when Buffy's cheeks flushed.
"Hungry and horny, B?" Faith said, and didn't bother to look back at Dawn when she rattled off the grades. "B minus for Joey, D for Alice."
"What? Are you kidding?" Buffy lost her composure more, but stopped blushing as she stalked forward and gestured at the girl in question. "She was perfect, two vampires staked, no fuss, and she even made a witty crack."
"Yeah, she's just like you, isn't she, B?" Faith rolled her eyes. "She didn't do anything, didn't break any headstones, didn't push the attack. She sat back and let them come to her, put all her energy into defense."
"She killed them both without getting hurt and without losing control of the situation," Buffy argued.
"Then you grade her, B." Faith tossed the clipboard at her. "I'm outta here."
Buffy didn't say anything, and Faith lit another cigarette from the end of the last, anything so she wouldn't look back.
~~**~**~~
Six weeks later, Buffy finally called.
"Where are you?" she asked without saying hello. "Giles said you were supposed to be in Boston two weeks ago, but you never showed up."
"You didn't pull the credit card records, B? I'm hurt."
"You haven't--" Buffy cut herself off, but it was too late. Faith hadn't touched the Council-provided credit cards for just that reason, to catch Buffy off guard. "Where are you, Faith?"
"Needed a vacation."
The silence lasted for so long Faith pulled the phone away from her ear to make sure they were still connected. The cell phone counted the time of each call, and she watched the seconds tick past.
"I thought we were going to take one together this summer." Buffy actually sounded hurt, and Faith winced. She drained her beer bottle, and grabbed for her cigarettes. Her smoking slowed down when she was on her own, but she could not get through a conversation with Buffy without one. Maybe two. Sometimes three.
"B," Faith hesitated. Sometimes it was hard, when Buffy's voice went soft and sad, but she had to remember all the times Buffy called someone else's name without even realizing it. She had to remember she was just a stop-gap, filler until Buffy found another vampire. Faith closed her eyes and made her voice hard. "No, B, we were going to meet up somewhere secret."
"So no one would bother us," Buffy said, but the hitch in her voice let Faith know she understand exactly what Faith meant.
"So no one would see us," Faith countered. "So you can still be Buffy the Martyr, giving up her true love for the good of the world. More than once, B. Aren't you just something special?"
Silence followed that, too, and Faith could feel a headache build behind her eyes.
"B…."
"No, you have fun." Buffy coughed, but Faith could still hear her voice crack. "Have a great time, Faith. Go on some big fucking spree like you always do."
"Sure thing, B. Have fun on your high horse."
Faith hung up, but she wasn't certain Buffy didn't beat her to it.
~~**~**~~
Faith managed to stay away six whole months, the longest she had been gone in one chunk since they left the crater which had been Sunnydale. She came in late, right through the front door, but she didn't slam it, didn't bang her bag against the walls, and didn't turn on any lights. For her, coming in to the Council headquarters, she was positively stealthy.
Buffy's door was closed, and no light leaked around the edges. Faith leaned against it for a second and listened, but she couldn't hear anything.
Faith's room was a few doors down, and she didn't bother turning on any lights there, either. Everything she owned was in the bag over her shoulder, and she didn't let them put any furniture inside except for the double bed and the nightstand.
She tossed her bag in the corner, stripped, and slid between the sheets. They were clean and chilly, and the pillow soft, but she couldn't sleep. Instead she stared at her ceiling, and waited; she heard some of the baby Slayers come in, giggling and talking too loud, too carefree, but Buffy wasn't with them.
When dawn came and she could see the first light outside her window, she rolled onto one side and covered her head with her pillow. Three years since Sunnydale, three years of training baby Slayers, rebuilding the Watchers Council, and sneaking in an hour here or two hours there in bed, but she still didn't know how to talk to Buffy.
Her phone vibrated against the top of the nightstand. Faith grabbed it, and squinted at the display.
"Where are you?" Buffy's voice came through loud and clear.
"In bed, sleeping," Faith mumbled.
Buffy laughed, her voice low and sultry. "So what are you wearing?"
Faith closed her eyes. This was all they had, really great sex (and a talent for killing demons). She could blow her off, get some sleep, and get out of town again before Buffy came home, wherever she was, and end it.
"Faith?" Buffy's voice lost a little of the teasing. "You okay?"
Faith sighed, kicked off the covers, and stretched out flat on her back. "Yeah, B. I'm okay." She put her hand on her stomach. "I'm already naked, what about you?"
"Oh." Buffy's breathing hitched. "That's nice, Faith."
Faith kept her eyes closed and focused on the sound of Buffy's voice as she ran her fingers beneath her belly button, through the thatch of dark hair, and down to her clit. It was already hard and hot, and the more noises Buffy made, the wetter she was and the better her own fingers felt.
After, when it was over, Buffy murmured a good-night and sounded half asleep before she disconnected. Faith fell asleep still holding the phone; she tried to take comfort in the fact Buffy had only cried out her name, and for the moment it worked.
It wasn't enough, but it was all she had.
End
author: Carla
disclaimer: Joss owns them all, of course.
dedication: Written for
aaronlisa in the Have A Little Faith (Or A Lot!) Ficathondistrubtion: Escritoire Azul
rating: 16+
warning: femslash, post-Chosen setting
summary: Faith has never had a lot, but now she has even less.
"Oh, fuck, Spike."
Faith froze, one fist inside Buffy, her tongue pressed tight against her clit. Buffy arched her back so hard her bones cracked, shoved her hips up into Faith's face, and grabbed Faith's shoulders.
"Don't stop, please, Faith, don't stop."
Faith shuddered, and then shoved her fist deeper, flexed her fingers as Buffy's inner walls clamped down on her, and flicked her tongue, the rhythm steady again. Buffy moaned, dug her fingernails into Faith's skin, and thrust up, setting the pace, moving faster and harder.
It was hard to breathe, the way Buffy slammed her body against Faith's mouth, and the cartilage in her nose cracked under the assault, but right away her Slayer healing kicked in and she could feel it start to knit back together even as Buffy dropped her hands to her side, pressed against the mattress, and shoved her entire body up against Faith.
She screamed when she came, she always screamed, and it was Faith's name on her lips, between the guttural noises spilling out of her mouth.
Faith thrust and stroked until Buffy's movements slowed, until she collapsed back onto the bed, her sweaty skin stuck to the sheet. She had pulled it off the upper corners of the bed and it tangled around their bodies.
Buffy closed her eyes, shoved her fingers into her hair, and pushed it out of her face. Faith eased her hand out of Buffy's cunt, wiped the moisture off with the edge of the comforter they kicked down to the end of the bed, and rolled over Buffy's leg so she could stretch out next to her. Buffy moaned; cuddled a little closer, her eyes still shut; and stretched, hands over her head, toes pointed.
"Pretty good, B."
The contented noise Buffy made sounded like a kitten, a little mewl of pleasure.
After a second, Faith leaned over the edge of the bed; their clothes were scattered, as usual, but she made sure her pants were always in reach right after. She dug her pack of cigarettes out of the pocket--only two left, one mangled at the edge of the filter.
Her lighter--silver Zippo, no engravings--wasn't with the cigarettes. She tossed her pants across the room, leaned over farther so she could reach under the bed, and slid her hand across the floor until her fingers brushed cool metal.
She was up with it, quick flick, flame, and lit cigarette and sprawled back on the bed. Her head smacked against the headboard; where the hell was her pillow?
Buffy curled sideways, her back to Faith, one pillow under her head, the other clutched against her chest. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, but Faith didn't think she was asleep. Each breath came too fast, and there were none of the little muttering sounds she made when she dreamed.
Faith stretched out again, crossed her legs, and took a long, deep drag on her cigarette. The alarm clock on the bedside table had red numbers, and half the lights were burned out on the second digit of the minutes.
Two hours until sunset.
That meant two and a half hours until all the little baby Slayers came knocking at the door, wanting to hit the cemeteries, do their patrol, get their grades. Buffy had three girls, Faith two, so five hours of what everyone but Faith called finals, and then she could hit the road.
Faith finished her cigarette, closed her eyes, and slept.
~~**~**~~
"So take away two points for dropping her stake," Buffy muttered and made notes on the paper stuck to her clipboard. "That leaves her eighty-seven and a half total, so," she raised her voice, "b plus for Kat."
"Faith, do you have your scores ready?" Dawn bounced a little on the balls of her feet, even though she had spent the whole time trying to look professional and adult; she even wore a tweed jacket, though the neon pink crop top under it didn't match her Watcher status.
"Sure thing, D."
Buffy signed her papers and handed them over to Dawn. Dawn tucked them into her bag, and raised her eyebrows at Faith. "Well?"
"Already told you."
Dawn's whole face twisted into a frown when she figured it out. "Oh, you're smart enough for word games now?"
Little bitch. Faith just smiled and opened a fresh pack of cigarettes. "Smart enough to trick you," she taunted, and cut her gaze sideways to watch Buffy cross her arms and glare. The glare was cute, and the pose made her breasts look even more interesting.
"Come on, Faith, we're all tired and hungry and some of us need showers." Buffy wrinkled her nose and sniffed. "I'm one of them."
Faith's smile went predatory; she leered, raked her eyes up and down Buffy's body, and winked when Buffy's cheeks flushed.
"Hungry and horny, B?" Faith said, and didn't bother to look back at Dawn when she rattled off the grades. "B minus for Joey, D for Alice."
"What? Are you kidding?" Buffy lost her composure more, but stopped blushing as she stalked forward and gestured at the girl in question. "She was perfect, two vampires staked, no fuss, and she even made a witty crack."
"Yeah, she's just like you, isn't she, B?" Faith rolled her eyes. "She didn't do anything, didn't break any headstones, didn't push the attack. She sat back and let them come to her, put all her energy into defense."
"She killed them both without getting hurt and without losing control of the situation," Buffy argued.
"Then you grade her, B." Faith tossed the clipboard at her. "I'm outta here."
Buffy didn't say anything, and Faith lit another cigarette from the end of the last, anything so she wouldn't look back.
~~**~**~~
Six weeks later, Buffy finally called.
"Where are you?" she asked without saying hello. "Giles said you were supposed to be in Boston two weeks ago, but you never showed up."
"You didn't pull the credit card records, B? I'm hurt."
"You haven't--" Buffy cut herself off, but it was too late. Faith hadn't touched the Council-provided credit cards for just that reason, to catch Buffy off guard. "Where are you, Faith?"
"Needed a vacation."
The silence lasted for so long Faith pulled the phone away from her ear to make sure they were still connected. The cell phone counted the time of each call, and she watched the seconds tick past.
"I thought we were going to take one together this summer." Buffy actually sounded hurt, and Faith winced. She drained her beer bottle, and grabbed for her cigarettes. Her smoking slowed down when she was on her own, but she could not get through a conversation with Buffy without one. Maybe two. Sometimes three.
"B," Faith hesitated. Sometimes it was hard, when Buffy's voice went soft and sad, but she had to remember all the times Buffy called someone else's name without even realizing it. She had to remember she was just a stop-gap, filler until Buffy found another vampire. Faith closed her eyes and made her voice hard. "No, B, we were going to meet up somewhere secret."
"So no one would bother us," Buffy said, but the hitch in her voice let Faith know she understand exactly what Faith meant.
"So no one would see us," Faith countered. "So you can still be Buffy the Martyr, giving up her true love for the good of the world. More than once, B. Aren't you just something special?"
Silence followed that, too, and Faith could feel a headache build behind her eyes.
"B…."
"No, you have fun." Buffy coughed, but Faith could still hear her voice crack. "Have a great time, Faith. Go on some big fucking spree like you always do."
"Sure thing, B. Have fun on your high horse."
Faith hung up, but she wasn't certain Buffy didn't beat her to it.
~~**~**~~
Faith managed to stay away six whole months, the longest she had been gone in one chunk since they left the crater which had been Sunnydale. She came in late, right through the front door, but she didn't slam it, didn't bang her bag against the walls, and didn't turn on any lights. For her, coming in to the Council headquarters, she was positively stealthy.
Buffy's door was closed, and no light leaked around the edges. Faith leaned against it for a second and listened, but she couldn't hear anything.
Faith's room was a few doors down, and she didn't bother turning on any lights there, either. Everything she owned was in the bag over her shoulder, and she didn't let them put any furniture inside except for the double bed and the nightstand.
She tossed her bag in the corner, stripped, and slid between the sheets. They were clean and chilly, and the pillow soft, but she couldn't sleep. Instead she stared at her ceiling, and waited; she heard some of the baby Slayers come in, giggling and talking too loud, too carefree, but Buffy wasn't with them.
When dawn came and she could see the first light outside her window, she rolled onto one side and covered her head with her pillow. Three years since Sunnydale, three years of training baby Slayers, rebuilding the Watchers Council, and sneaking in an hour here or two hours there in bed, but she still didn't know how to talk to Buffy.
Her phone vibrated against the top of the nightstand. Faith grabbed it, and squinted at the display.
"Where are you?" Buffy's voice came through loud and clear.
"In bed, sleeping," Faith mumbled.
Buffy laughed, her voice low and sultry. "So what are you wearing?"
Faith closed her eyes. This was all they had, really great sex (and a talent for killing demons). She could blow her off, get some sleep, and get out of town again before Buffy came home, wherever she was, and end it.
"Faith?" Buffy's voice lost a little of the teasing. "You okay?"
Faith sighed, kicked off the covers, and stretched out flat on her back. "Yeah, B. I'm okay." She put her hand on her stomach. "I'm already naked, what about you?"
"Oh." Buffy's breathing hitched. "That's nice, Faith."
Faith kept her eyes closed and focused on the sound of Buffy's voice as she ran her fingers beneath her belly button, through the thatch of dark hair, and down to her clit. It was already hard and hot, and the more noises Buffy made, the wetter she was and the better her own fingers felt.
After, when it was over, Buffy murmured a good-night and sounded half asleep before she disconnected. Faith fell asleep still holding the phone; she tried to take comfort in the fact Buffy had only cried out her name, and for the moment it worked.
It wasn't enough, but it was all she had.
End
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no subject
Date: 2006-05-23 01:45 am (UTC)Her smoking slowed down when she was on her own, but she could not get through a conversation with Buffy without one. Maybe two. Sometimes three.
I love that. So subtle, yet a great Faith characterisation. We get her hardness, but also some of her insecurity.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-15 04:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-23 09:27 pm (UTC)Buffy didn't say anything, and Faith lit another cigarette from the end of the last, anything so she wouldn't look back.
no subject
Date: 2006-08-15 04:20 pm (UTC)I was particularly fond of that line, and the use of Faith's smoking, so I'm glad it worked for you, as well.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-26 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-15 04:20 pm (UTC)