Fandom: Talking Meme: Memories

December 2014 Talking Meme Master List

Prompt from ajodasso: things you can't quite remember, but want to

Oh, man, there are so many things I don't remember. I have a terrible memory at the best of times, and if I don't write something down, it's gone. This goes for memories, too; the years I was blogging regularly, I remember things so much better, both because the act of writing them down helped, and because I used to read back over things randomly. (I haven't done much of that lately. Probably I should, both blogging more and reading what I've previously written.)

I'm lucky that Sister K and Brother M generally have great memories, and they are willing to tell me stories about our childhoods all the time. There used to be this commonly held belief that if you didn't remember your childhood crystal clear, it's because you were abused, but that's not true for me. I just have vague memories, mostly built up around things that have become family stories. Every once in awhile, I'll remember something sharp and clear, and I love those moments.

Example: I remember with startling clarity how my mom looked when she used to read to me when I was a very small child. She would sit next to me so I could lean against her and read the book too (I started reading young, but loved to be read to -- still do), but often I would watch her, because she had this very precise way of moving her lips when she read aloud, slowly and carefully pronouncing things, and I loved it so much. I'm grateful I have this memory of her.

I wish I was better at remember useful things. I look up things I already know all the time, just to be sure. I keep extensive notes on things, from story ideas to legal interpretations, so I can reference them later. I try to write down things I need to do as soon as I know about them, even if that means scribbling it on a scratch piece of paper and adding it to a list or calendar later. I lose words sometimes, and it happens more often as I get older and the bipolar gets worse; I wish I could remember the right words when I'm in the middle of trying to say things.

That being said, I am an excellent person to talk to if you like to repeat your stories, because I will happily listen to people tell the same story over and over, whether I remember it or not, and I have learned to be organized in a way that means I really love to organize family gatherings and holidays, and I keep calendars for people, because I so extensively keep my own. Sister K and I share our calendars using Google, and I love getting to look at it and see everything all color-coded. (My siblings are really good at giving me what makes me feel better without making me feel like a burden.)