escritoireazul

So I missed the ten year anniversary yesterday because I was sick and couldn't get out of bed. That's okay, in my few waking moments I thought about the show a lot and dreamed about it, even.

BtVS was an important show for me. It was the first show I ever talked about with people outside my family. (Especially during season two, one of my neighbors loved it, so we talked about it at school and whenever we walked to and from piano lessons.) It was the first show I thought about when I got online full time. (Fall 1998, and I was already a fan, but finding fannish things -- mailing lists, the Bronze, people -- helped me develop my own sense of participating in fandom.) I went through high school with Buffy, Willow, and Xander, I graduated with them, in many ways I grew up with them.

I can't say I wouldn't be involved in fandom today if I had never seen BtVS, but I can say I would have never run Of Luv and Blood, which probably means I never would have made it to Escritoire Azul. My life certainly would be different. I would never have made the friends I did on the willangel mailing list, so I never would have run away to California, so J. and I never would have started dating again, so I wouldn't have fallen in love with his Hawaii.

Without BtVS, I probably wouldn't have made it to The Lost Boys fandom, and even if I had, I wouldn't have been at a place where I could have written The Protector Series, so I probably would have never had Sarah in my life.

(In fact, without Of Luv and Blood, we probably would have never spoken.)

I know I wouldn't be the woman I am today without the friends I made in fandom. During some difficult times (transitioning to university, my mother's ongoing illness, a gigantic breakup, many bouts of serious depression, and other, less important things), the people I turned to weren't the friends I'd made offline, but the people I knew online, the people I trusted because they had already been there for me for years.

I don't make friends easily, and I don't keep friends easily. Over the years, I've moved away from a number of friendships and relationship for a variety of reasons. The ones which stick, whether I meet them online or off, are the ones I interact with online, whether through email or, more often, livejournal. Mostly these people are also fannish, because I like to be able to share the things I love.

I never really liked Buffy all that much, but the other characters kept me watching. (Willow. Xander. Oz. Cordelia. Kendra. Faith. Giles. Jenny. Angel, in season three. Joyce.) As I rewatch obsessively, I grow to like Buffy more, and Buffy/Angel. I like Spike less after season three. I love Oz more. Faith is still my favorite. Willow/Angel will always make me feel warm and happy because just the thought of it reminds me of all my favorite people (and ThatHappyPlace).

I still love seasons one, two, and three the most, though I've grown more fond of four and five, and I (still) dislike six and seven. I love season one of Angel, and parts of other seasons. I have a fairly large collection of BtVS books, and intend to read the comics (probably not on an issue by issue basis).

I'm so glad BtVS became a television show as well as a movie. (Though, unlike a lot of people, I adore the movie, too. It's hilarious, and I watched it at my first ever slumber party, and it just makes me happy to this day.) I learned so many things because of it and the fandom spawning from it, from how to be a good friend to how to be a strong person to how to be a better writer.

Happy aniversary, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and fandom. I'm glad we're still together.