good things about Friday

[escritoireazul]

Happy things about today:

+ twinkledru wrote the sweetest, cutest little Buffy/Fred story. It is absolutely amazing and wonderful and made me smile and made me giddy and oh. Just adorable.

+ Going to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire with J. and Walk the Line with J., Mom, and Dad. Quick thoughts on each: I loved both of them, for many different reasons. I have always loved Johnny Cash, but I love him even more now, and have put all the songs of his I own back into rotation, not just the select few I usually listen to while I write.

+ Leftovers. I absolutely adore Thanksgiving leftovers, even though a lot of it I won't eat (the green beans had onions in them this year, yuck, and I'm not a fan of green beans anyway, but I can't get enough of turkey sandwiches).

+ A sweet text message from thestalkycop.

+ My first four day Thanksgiving weekend. It's been lovely just relaxing these past two days, and I still have two more days to do things on. Amazing.

+ Making fun of the broken/repaired/broken/repaired windshield in Twister. Hot damn but I love cheesy action movies.

+ "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" followed by "Redemption Song" followed by "Folsom Prison Blues" followed by "Ring of Fire (live)". All it needs is "Hurt" and it will be the top five list of my favorite Johnny Cash songs. (And good lord people, yes, I know a couple of those are covers. Especially "Hurt". I prefer the Johnny Cash version to the NIN version, and I'm a NIN fan, too. Back off.)

+ Diet Dr. Pepper, because any day with diet Dr. Pepper is a good, good day.

+ Hot, sweet, milky Tetley tea with toast after I got home from the cinema because thestalkycop got me hooked. My stash is running low (well, it has been over a month since I got back from Florida), but as long as it lasts, it will be wonderful.

+ People recommending Strangers In Paradise which I started to read back when I worked at the bookstore, but then I quit and had to stop and forgot the name but now I remember and I can buy it and read more.

+ That 70s Show. I have watched so many episodes over the past three days I can't hardly stand it. So good. So funny. So much love.

+ My flists, on both the journals. (One is fandom [this one, as I'm sure you know], the other is more personal. If you're interested in the other, just let me know and I'll add you on it, too.) You guys are fabulous and amaze me every day and create things I wish I could create and are so much smarter than I am. I love that fact.

+ The Old Friends With Indiscretions masterlist is up, and though I haven't read any yet, I am looking forward to Willow/Xander stories.

+ kormantic posted this entry about true romance, scenes from life, and made me think about my favorite (bitter)sweet memories of romance-which-could-have-been-but-wasn't. I think you should all post yours as well, either here in my comments or over in hers. I've included mine below, and I may post more later, because now I'm all thoughtful.



Hi, I do not know you, but alizarin_nyc linked to this and it is such a sweet idea, and your memories were lovely, I felt I had to share. Though the first which sprang to mind is more bittersweet, I think.

A. and I had been friends for a few years. He was a year older and a whole bunch of us had gotten together to do homework. Except I don't know why A. or I were there, because we didn't have any classes with them. (A. because he was a year older, and I was in all the advanced classes, so I was actually farther ahead than A. Maybe they wanted us there to double check their answers.) Anyway, I'd had a bad week, and had run late from my job, and C. and I had arrived together because he'd come to help me finish up said job so I could meet with them. C.'s girlfriend, L., disliked me already (because I'd dated an ex of hers) and threw a fit because I'd made C. late. I had to choose between decking her in her own home and walking outside, so I left.

A. followed me to make sure I was all right, we ended up sitting on the hood of his car and talking for five or six hours while the others studied. We talked about the relationship I'd just left (bad, bad situation), school, future plans, music, movies--I can't even remember everything, I can just remember the way his dark hair fell over his forehead and the way he grinned and gestured with his right hand when he wanted to make a point. He had a large nose and looked a bit like a bird, but his movements were fluid and beautiful. The moon was mostly covered by clouds and the light only hit us once or twice, it was a chilly spring night and the air was wet, but I was so comfortable and happy.

Then, right before the others came out (and L. was angry because we'd spent the whole time outside--I couldn't do anything to make her happy and we weren't friends much longer), A. leaned over, pushed some of my hair out of my face, and smiled at me, slow and warm.

"I could love you, you know," he said and leaned forward.

The others came out then and we never kissed. We flirted a lot after and for the next year, gentle flirting, but we still never kissed. We cuddled on couches watching movies, got sweaty together at a Smash Mouth concert (one of my favorite things he left me was a love for Smash Mouth and I taught him to love Live), and spent hours passing notes and laughing in advanced history classes, but neither of us took it any farther. I don't know why he didn't, but I know I was gunshy and still hurt over my last relationship (it was a really nasty situation) and I liked his friendship too much to try anything else.

Sometimes I wish I had.

The other is with J. (as I'm going to post these memories in my journal as well, I have to say it's not the same J. I'm dating now). J. and I were the editors of the newspaper, we'd gone through all the advanced courses together and dropped out of the final advanced math course at the same time (and for the same reason, because it interfered with newspaper). J. was a good boy, a choir boy with a gorgeous, strong voice, a gentleman, and I didn't know the first thing to do with him. He was shy and sweet and nice and all the people I'd dated had been none of those things.

We went to parties together and to Homecoming, but the memory which stands out is from late fall, post-Homecoming, when we were deepest in our will they/won't they semi-relationship. I'd been gone for about three days visiting a university. I was exhausted but happy because I'd fallen in love with it, plus I got to see J. again, plus I qualified for scholarships, plus it was the end of marching season, which made me sad actually, but it meant the beginning of winter guard, my favorite time of year.

I was scattered and giddy all day. After class, J. cornered me at our lockers and asked me where I'd been. (Our lockers were next to each other, a twist of fate I loved all year long.) He watched while I put away books, grabbed my (wooden) rifle for guard practice later that night, and restuck pictures to the inside of the door (they always fell down).

I told him I'd been looking at schools, I'd fallen in love with one, I was maybe a little more talkative than normal, but he smiled and asked all sorts of questions and acted very interested.

When I was ready to go, he caught the edge of my locker before I could close it, swung it a little, leaned in close, and whispered how much he'd missed me and my smile and how glad he was I was back.

I think I turned fifty shades of red, and instead of telling him I'd missed him too, quite a bit (and I had), I laughed and grinned and said I'd missed everyone too. He walked me down to my car (he did that a lot, because as honors students we had preferred parking together, and we left the newspaper office a lot together, and okay, maybe he did it because he wanted to walk with me).

We mostly flirted and nothing really ever came of it either, but sometimes I wonder if he took my answer as a sign I wasn't interested. I wonder what would have happened had I said what I'd really thought. I can still feel that moment sometimes, the way his breath was on my cheek, the way his body was warm in the cold hallway, the slight hitch in his voice when he said "missed you".

I'm not normally really nostalgic, but right now I want to bask in all these memories. Thank you for writing this post and making me think about them, they are truly lovely.

A. and J. are the only people from high school I wonder how they are (well, except for the people I've kept in contact with and I actually know how they're doing, because we're in contact.)

I was supposed to go shopping today as the first time I've been a consumer and not an employee on Black Friday--but I hate shopping and crowds and the consumerism of Black Friday, so I did not go. In fact, the only thing I purchased all day was movie tickets, and I made J. actually go inside and get them.

So I will have to wait until next year to fulfill my desire to shop at least once on Black Friday. Maybe not next year either, but someday. I was also going to go shopping tomorrow instead (now today), but I think I'd probably better stay here and write and do laundry and clean. I'm almost done holiday shopping anyway, I just have a handful of presents to buy and the materials for my holiday cards. (Before you start thinking I'm prepared, I still haven't figured out what I need to make the holiday cards, so I'd really better get cracking on that.)