escritoireazul (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
escritoireazul) wrote2007-01-27 07:49 pm
escritoireazul) wrote2007-01-27 07:49 pm
Entry tags:
[movies] Bloodrayne
Next up for the Day O' Gay, Bloodrayne because I adore Michelle Rodriguez. (This would probably be more fun to watch with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nikitangel, a big screen, and lots of wine, but I'll do whatever it takes to see more of Rodriguez. Plus it has Meat Loaf, which I probably knew at one point, but had forgotten. I love Meat Loaf, too, especially when he does movies with the women I love. [Another I'd like to see is Blacktop because it has him and Victoria Pratt.)
Michelle's looking good in this movie so far.
Oh, there's a pretty woman in the crowd, watching Rayne with interest. My bet is girlfriend, but it's probably her mother or sister or something.
I like creepy carnivals of freaks. This is making me want to watch Blood Moon.
Oh, not mother or sister. Hmmmm. Girlfriend it is, then. She's pretty, and earnest, in a very naive way.
I love the sound of boots on stone. Love it.
How, exactly, did Rayne get free from her cage? This is confusing -- oh, she's dreaming. Eat the man, Rayne, eat him. (Though he is kind of attractive.)
Why, why, why the weird shaky camera angles? It is unnecessary!
Oh, so not dreaming, but a flashback. Still, the camera angles are wrong, wrong, wrong!
Did she just kill Meat Loaf? I can't tell.
I hate Uwe Boll's direction. This could be fun and instead it's just confusing and meh.
"Haven't we wasted enough time with fairy tales?"
I don't really like how she delivered it, but it's a neat little line.
Um, the other people aren't going to speak up when you cut off the heads of their people and burn the dead?
Oh, Rayne bit her girlfriend and then felt bad about it. Awww.
Oh, Rodriguez just killed Rayne's girlfriend, she's going to be pissed. (Must look for her character's name -- Katarin. Excellent.)
Katarin doesn't look too happy to have to ask for permission.
She's, um, kind of hot riding that horse. Let's go riding, Katarin!
Dude, do you really think she's going to fall for that? (Well, considering who the director is, she probably will, and I will be sad, because how stupid can you get?)
Oh. Wow. Rayne's kind of hot when she's feeding from female vampires.
The writing is really just crap, isn't it? It could be good, but it's just -- flat.
I do like how Rayne can see the monster inside. (And also how she tempts women to her all the time. This is definitely a good movie for the day o' gay.)
Look, gypsy woman, I think we all know he's the most powerful vampire. DUH. She really delivers her lines oddly, too. Very modern cadences, I think is the problem.
Oh, prophesy. Here we go. Woo. I have a headache.
Horse thief! Yay!
Horses! I love running horses!
Um, people, what happened to Katarin? Would like more of her, please!
When there's a lone rider (Rayne, I'm pretty sure), I keep seeing shadows at the edge of the screen. I know it's just the film crew, but it would be so neat if it was better used as a way to make it seem she's really being hunted. That would be too subtle, I know.
This would be a nice place for a Brides of Dracula type moment.
If I was going to go around hunting vampires, I might, you know, cover more of my skin, especially at my throat.
Wait, what? Am I watching Goonies?
You know, if you keep using that hammer of doom on the support posts, you'll bring down the ceiling. Idiot.
These action scenes are lacking something -- skilled directing would be my bet.
Why do her pants make it look like she's menstruating and has stained them?
Okay, actually, I like the flashing blades in the floor, and also the water running on the stone. Nice. Not too subtle foreshadowing from earlier, but nice. Also nice that the sword is slipping from the ceiling.
Okay, also, the effect of the eye and her eye is awesome.
Order, guarding for centuries, blah blah blah.
Three talismans -- I like that. I like things in threes.
Water, sunlight, and a cross -- I would have put something else in the place of the cross, but eh, it's not too bad. I like the water and the sunlight.
Oh lord, why, why, why must you people keep telling us what we already know? WHY? We have all realized Kaigan has an army, is a threat, is her father, blah freaking blah.
You'd think that, since the monks have been guarding the eye for so long, they'd be better fighters since their enemies are vampires and their human fighters. DUH! Also, you'd think that they'd have better security measures. I wish to hit my head against the desk now.
Boll! Less flying blood and more thought, if you please!
YAY KATARIN! YAY YAY YAY! Now that is a woman who knows how to fight the humans working for the vampires.
Um, you know, if you're wanting him to answer your question, maybe you should not PUSH A SWORD SLOWLY THROUGH HIS CHEST. Just a thought.
Katarin, I think that cloak might get in your way, dear. Why don't you take it off?
Oh, yeah, Rayne's a hottie.
Oh BULLSHIT! She would NOT have been taken down that easily. Boll, I hate you and your crappy directing and this terrible plot.
(Katarin, I love you and your breasts. I mean your sword. No, wait, I definitely mean your breasts and the visible nipples.)
Oh, this girl is so dead, and so cute. (Not Katarin, this cute girl in a dress.) She's lovely, but oh so dead.
I so do not believe that Rayne was knocked out that easily, taken that easily, and then carried over a horse that long without waking up at all. And now she needs to be rescued by men? Not likely!
MEAT LOAF! And you have Brides of Dracula! You make me glee, Meat Loaf. You also have people hanging from the ceiling for easy blood.
I like how Meat Loaf is not all respectful of Kaigan or his men. Though the hair is a little scary.
Ha, ha, ha!
Oh, yay, piano music and women together and an orgy of blood. This kind of cheesy I can deal with.
Ha! Rayne just bit off Meat Loaf's ear. Hee.
Man, these vampires go down easy. Also, Kaigan's main man is a bit of a chicken, yeah, running away like that.
Hey, Meat Loaf, maybe you should not have windows in your bedroom. Just saying. Oops. The vampire hunters saw them, too, and now it's too late.
Oh, all those naked women. What will they do now?
God, Rodriguez, can you be any more gorgeous? I always think no, and then you show me something else. The hair, the walk, the smirk, the dirty pout. The leather. Woman, you will be the death of me.
Oh, Rayne, you and your mother were just adorable, weren't you? Clever hiding place, in the fireplace. I like it. I like it a lot.
Vladimir, I don't think you have any of the answers, do you?
Go, Rayne, go! Kick his ass!
Um, yeah, Katarin, you're in love with Rayne, aren't you? I recognize that half-resentful, half-lustful stare.
Yay, she earned back her swords. Except, for someone so driven on her quest, she sure was distracted easily by a group of people training to kill.
I'd say Katarin eating that apple was a nice sign of the temptation and a fall to come, but that's probably too subtle, too. (Not that it's all that subtle, but you know what I mean.)
Okay, I have to admit, the whole broken sword thing is something I love. It fills me with glee. Also, Rayne is sad because she broke her girlfriend's sword. (And probably also because she accidentally bit her earlier and caused her death, but whatever.)
Oh, parent angst. It makes me laugh.
Show. More. Katarin. Please.
See? Rayne has girlfriend biting guilt!
Oh, dude, Katarin might kick your ass for getting involved with her woman.
Even the sex is awkward and badly directed. Can that man do nothing right? Not to mention, Rayne has shown no interest in men up until this point. What is this, the "Oh, no, no gay here" sex scene?
Katarin is beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful. (Hee. Katarin just called Rayne Jesus.)
Oh. My. God. They are beautiful together. I. I just. I.
Okay, the movie is worth it right now.
THE LOOKS BETWEEN THEM!
"Can I see your teeth?" Cute kid!
Katarin, I wish to fuck you, okay?
Only one Brimstone remains? DOOM! (Not very dramatic, but doom anyway.)
Um, Kaigan, you're not a good public speaker or an inspirational general, you know.
OOOH.
Are we finally going to see Rayne and Katarin duel? HOT HOT HOT.
Way hot. Lacking passion? Katarin, you make me laugh. Also you make me hot because wow.
Women, just kiss already. The UST is -- dude. Katarin was just checking out Rayne's ASS! Love, love, love!
"Would you stop throwing things at me?"
Hee! I kind of like Katarin's dad. No, I really like him and his little plan.
Wait. You're leaving Katarin at home to defend Brimstone? Not on, Vladimir, not on! "You're a leader, Rayne is a fighter." Yes, and fighters need good leaders. Let them work together.
Katarin, I think you are in trouble! Oh, crap.
Rayne has guilt about Katarin now!
Oh, Katarin. Now I'm sure Rayne will kill you. *sigh*
Okay, I didn't like them at first, but I find myself wanting a Brimstone necklace.
Sebastian and Rayne have NO chemistry. Good grief.
I do like that Rayne can hear the heart, though. Nice.
Aww, Sebastian gave away his Brimstone necklace, and STILL they have no chemistry.
Dude, Rayne, you gave away the girlfriend's cross. Loser!
The red places don't look so bad on leather trousers and top.
Yay, Katarin, you're just doing what you think is best for the people. Yay! And also, good plan to take off your boots. Too many people don't -- oh, like Rayne right there. Boots make it harder to swim.
Yum, to hot women in the water.
Oh, Katarin, GO! GO!
Unfortunately, I know you're going to die because this is Rayne's movie. I hope you come back and kick her ass some. And Rayne! What happened to not thirsting for human blood? Liar!
Rayne, I both love and hate that story you just told about Katarin.
Now that wasn't a bad speech, Rayne! Don't stop fighting, woman, don't stop fighting!
Okay, I'm a sucker for daughters fighting fathers, and also for sword fights of any ability.
Hey, this is kind of like The Princess Bride. Hello. My name is Rayne. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.
Dramatic lightning, there.
Okay, the fact that Sebastian chooses not to become a vampire, that's kind of cool. I can't see him actually wanting to become what he's been fighting. That's good characterization.
However, I still don't buy the whole Rayne/Sebastian.
Go on, Rayne, take your throne, ruler of the fallen, ruler of the dead.
...
I suddenly want to write Rayne/Riddick, set after The Chronicles of Riddick. Crap.
Where's the rib, Rayne? Aren't you missing something?
Firebreathers yay!
Why are we flashing back through the movie? Why? This is POINTLESS and totally takes away from the not too horrible ending of her in her throne. Boll, I know you're not trying to make the comment that humans are monstrous like the vampires, or even worse, because that would be way, way too clever.
Wait, what? This had better not be one of those whole oh, it was all a dream endings.
You know, I don't think there is any way to actually find logic to this. All I know is that Rayne is hot, Katarin hotter, and I'm going to pretend they're off saving the world together, one vampire at a time.
Dude, how is Sebastian the one highlighted in the trailer as the hero? He's not!
Crappy extras, too.
When Rayne has her hair pulled back, she's really lovely. She has such strong features, and a gorgeous face.
Okay, I have to admit, I'll buy this movie, just because I wish to own all of Michelle Rodriguez's movies. I know. I know.
nikitangel, a big screen, and lots of wine, but I'll do whatever it takes to see more of Rodriguez. Plus it has Meat Loaf, which I probably knew at one point, but had forgotten. I love Meat Loaf, too, especially when he does movies with the women I love. [Another I'd like to see is Blacktop because it has him and Victoria Pratt.)Michelle's looking good in this movie so far.
Oh, there's a pretty woman in the crowd, watching Rayne with interest. My bet is girlfriend, but it's probably her mother or sister or something.
I like creepy carnivals of freaks. This is making me want to watch Blood Moon.
Oh, not mother or sister. Hmmmm. Girlfriend it is, then. She's pretty, and earnest, in a very naive way.
I love the sound of boots on stone. Love it.
How, exactly, did Rayne get free from her cage? This is confusing -- oh, she's dreaming. Eat the man, Rayne, eat him. (Though he is kind of attractive.)
Why, why, why the weird shaky camera angles? It is unnecessary!
Oh, so not dreaming, but a flashback. Still, the camera angles are wrong, wrong, wrong!
Did she just kill Meat Loaf? I can't tell.
I hate Uwe Boll's direction. This could be fun and instead it's just confusing and meh.
"Haven't we wasted enough time with fairy tales?"
I don't really like how she delivered it, but it's a neat little line.
Um, the other people aren't going to speak up when you cut off the heads of their people and burn the dead?
Oh, Rayne bit her girlfriend and then felt bad about it. Awww.
Oh, Rodriguez just killed Rayne's girlfriend, she's going to be pissed. (Must look for her character's name -- Katarin. Excellent.)
Katarin doesn't look too happy to have to ask for permission.
She's, um, kind of hot riding that horse. Let's go riding, Katarin!
Dude, do you really think she's going to fall for that? (Well, considering who the director is, she probably will, and I will be sad, because how stupid can you get?)
Oh. Wow. Rayne's kind of hot when she's feeding from female vampires.
The writing is really just crap, isn't it? It could be good, but it's just -- flat.
I do like how Rayne can see the monster inside. (And also how she tempts women to her all the time. This is definitely a good movie for the day o' gay.)
Look, gypsy woman, I think we all know he's the most powerful vampire. DUH. She really delivers her lines oddly, too. Very modern cadences, I think is the problem.
Oh, prophesy. Here we go. Woo. I have a headache.
Horse thief! Yay!
Horses! I love running horses!
Um, people, what happened to Katarin? Would like more of her, please!
When there's a lone rider (Rayne, I'm pretty sure), I keep seeing shadows at the edge of the screen. I know it's just the film crew, but it would be so neat if it was better used as a way to make it seem she's really being hunted. That would be too subtle, I know.
This would be a nice place for a Brides of Dracula type moment.
If I was going to go around hunting vampires, I might, you know, cover more of my skin, especially at my throat.
Wait, what? Am I watching Goonies?
You know, if you keep using that hammer of doom on the support posts, you'll bring down the ceiling. Idiot.
These action scenes are lacking something -- skilled directing would be my bet.
Why do her pants make it look like she's menstruating and has stained them?
Okay, actually, I like the flashing blades in the floor, and also the water running on the stone. Nice. Not too subtle foreshadowing from earlier, but nice. Also nice that the sword is slipping from the ceiling.
Okay, also, the effect of the eye and her eye is awesome.
Order, guarding for centuries, blah blah blah.
Three talismans -- I like that. I like things in threes.
Water, sunlight, and a cross -- I would have put something else in the place of the cross, but eh, it's not too bad. I like the water and the sunlight.
Oh lord, why, why, why must you people keep telling us what we already know? WHY? We have all realized Kaigan has an army, is a threat, is her father, blah freaking blah.
You'd think that, since the monks have been guarding the eye for so long, they'd be better fighters since their enemies are vampires and their human fighters. DUH! Also, you'd think that they'd have better security measures. I wish to hit my head against the desk now.
Boll! Less flying blood and more thought, if you please!
YAY KATARIN! YAY YAY YAY! Now that is a woman who knows how to fight the humans working for the vampires.
Um, you know, if you're wanting him to answer your question, maybe you should not PUSH A SWORD SLOWLY THROUGH HIS CHEST. Just a thought.
Katarin, I think that cloak might get in your way, dear. Why don't you take it off?
Oh, yeah, Rayne's a hottie.
Oh BULLSHIT! She would NOT have been taken down that easily. Boll, I hate you and your crappy directing and this terrible plot.
(Katarin, I love you and your breasts. I mean your sword. No, wait, I definitely mean your breasts and the visible nipples.)
Oh, this girl is so dead, and so cute. (Not Katarin, this cute girl in a dress.) She's lovely, but oh so dead.
I so do not believe that Rayne was knocked out that easily, taken that easily, and then carried over a horse that long without waking up at all. And now she needs to be rescued by men? Not likely!
MEAT LOAF! And you have Brides of Dracula! You make me glee, Meat Loaf. You also have people hanging from the ceiling for easy blood.
I like how Meat Loaf is not all respectful of Kaigan or his men. Though the hair is a little scary.
Ha, ha, ha!
Oh, yay, piano music and women together and an orgy of blood. This kind of cheesy I can deal with.
Ha! Rayne just bit off Meat Loaf's ear. Hee.
Man, these vampires go down easy. Also, Kaigan's main man is a bit of a chicken, yeah, running away like that.
Hey, Meat Loaf, maybe you should not have windows in your bedroom. Just saying. Oops. The vampire hunters saw them, too, and now it's too late.
Oh, all those naked women. What will they do now?
God, Rodriguez, can you be any more gorgeous? I always think no, and then you show me something else. The hair, the walk, the smirk, the dirty pout. The leather. Woman, you will be the death of me.
Oh, Rayne, you and your mother were just adorable, weren't you? Clever hiding place, in the fireplace. I like it. I like it a lot.
Vladimir, I don't think you have any of the answers, do you?
Go, Rayne, go! Kick his ass!
Um, yeah, Katarin, you're in love with Rayne, aren't you? I recognize that half-resentful, half-lustful stare.
Yay, she earned back her swords. Except, for someone so driven on her quest, she sure was distracted easily by a group of people training to kill.
I'd say Katarin eating that apple was a nice sign of the temptation and a fall to come, but that's probably too subtle, too. (Not that it's all that subtle, but you know what I mean.)
Okay, I have to admit, the whole broken sword thing is something I love. It fills me with glee. Also, Rayne is sad because she broke her girlfriend's sword. (And probably also because she accidentally bit her earlier and caused her death, but whatever.)
Oh, parent angst. It makes me laugh.
Show. More. Katarin. Please.
See? Rayne has girlfriend biting guilt!
Oh, dude, Katarin might kick your ass for getting involved with her woman.
Even the sex is awkward and badly directed. Can that man do nothing right? Not to mention, Rayne has shown no interest in men up until this point. What is this, the "Oh, no, no gay here" sex scene?
Katarin is beautiful. Unbelievably beautiful. (Hee. Katarin just called Rayne Jesus.)
Oh. My. God. They are beautiful together. I. I just. I.
Okay, the movie is worth it right now.
THE LOOKS BETWEEN THEM!
"Can I see your teeth?" Cute kid!
Katarin, I wish to fuck you, okay?
Only one Brimstone remains? DOOM! (Not very dramatic, but doom anyway.)
Um, Kaigan, you're not a good public speaker or an inspirational general, you know.
OOOH.
Are we finally going to see Rayne and Katarin duel? HOT HOT HOT.
Way hot. Lacking passion? Katarin, you make me laugh. Also you make me hot because wow.
Women, just kiss already. The UST is -- dude. Katarin was just checking out Rayne's ASS! Love, love, love!
"Would you stop throwing things at me?"
Hee! I kind of like Katarin's dad. No, I really like him and his little plan.
Wait. You're leaving Katarin at home to defend Brimstone? Not on, Vladimir, not on! "You're a leader, Rayne is a fighter." Yes, and fighters need good leaders. Let them work together.
Katarin, I think you are in trouble! Oh, crap.
Rayne has guilt about Katarin now!
Oh, Katarin. Now I'm sure Rayne will kill you. *sigh*
Okay, I didn't like them at first, but I find myself wanting a Brimstone necklace.
Sebastian and Rayne have NO chemistry. Good grief.
I do like that Rayne can hear the heart, though. Nice.
Aww, Sebastian gave away his Brimstone necklace, and STILL they have no chemistry.
Dude, Rayne, you gave away the girlfriend's cross. Loser!
The red places don't look so bad on leather trousers and top.
Yay, Katarin, you're just doing what you think is best for the people. Yay! And also, good plan to take off your boots. Too many people don't -- oh, like Rayne right there. Boots make it harder to swim.
Yum, to hot women in the water.
Oh, Katarin, GO! GO!
Unfortunately, I know you're going to die because this is Rayne's movie. I hope you come back and kick her ass some. And Rayne! What happened to not thirsting for human blood? Liar!
Rayne, I both love and hate that story you just told about Katarin.
Now that wasn't a bad speech, Rayne! Don't stop fighting, woman, don't stop fighting!
Okay, I'm a sucker for daughters fighting fathers, and also for sword fights of any ability.
Hey, this is kind of like The Princess Bride. Hello. My name is Rayne. You killed my mother. Prepare to die.
Dramatic lightning, there.
Okay, the fact that Sebastian chooses not to become a vampire, that's kind of cool. I can't see him actually wanting to become what he's been fighting. That's good characterization.
However, I still don't buy the whole Rayne/Sebastian.
Go on, Rayne, take your throne, ruler of the fallen, ruler of the dead.
...
I suddenly want to write Rayne/Riddick, set after The Chronicles of Riddick. Crap.
Where's the rib, Rayne? Aren't you missing something?
Firebreathers yay!
Why are we flashing back through the movie? Why? This is POINTLESS and totally takes away from the not too horrible ending of her in her throne. Boll, I know you're not trying to make the comment that humans are monstrous like the vampires, or even worse, because that would be way, way too clever.
Wait, what? This had better not be one of those whole oh, it was all a dream endings.
You know, I don't think there is any way to actually find logic to this. All I know is that Rayne is hot, Katarin hotter, and I'm going to pretend they're off saving the world together, one vampire at a time.
Dude, how is Sebastian the one highlighted in the trailer as the hero? He's not!
Crappy extras, too.
When Rayne has her hair pulled back, she's really lovely. She has such strong features, and a gorgeous face.
Okay, I have to admit, I'll buy this movie, just because I wish to own all of Michelle Rodriguez's movies. I know. I know.
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